The Bad Dating Chronicles #1

I had a thought today. I've gone on lots of bad dates, so why don't I make a little record of my bad dates? I'll change names of course, but I thought it might be fun to do, especially since I added to that list of bad dates just this weekend.

I had thought that this date might be different. The guy seemed intriguing and intelligent, both good things. But alas, I was disappointed. Not all of it was bad. He really did seem like a nice guy, and he did some things right, but then he did so many things wrong.

Things to consider when going on a first date:

#1. Be open and honest.

You're on a date for heaven's sake! Two people are trying to get to know each other, and how are they supposed to do that when one party continues to answer in vague, one-word responses that kills all conversation? The answer: they don't.

#2. Avoid talking about past dates.

Maybe this is obvious for some, but not for everyone. It rather ruined the illusion of him when he told me that he has asked out numerous other girls in the exact same manner. Oh, and most of them told him he was creepy and left. To an English major who likes to read between the lines, what am I supposed to think you're trying to tell me here? Whatever it is, it's not positive.

#3. If you ask the girl to lunch, you should probably pay for the lunch.

I know that money is tight for most people, and I don't ask for much. I just had the cheapest 6-inch sub that was there, so we're talking $3.50, plus tax. But that's one sure way to kill a date, unless of course the woman is just swept off her feet by the words, "So, you brought your wallet with you, right?" And I think it goes for guys and girls. I'm sure it's kind of nice for the guy to get a break when you ask him on a date.

#4. Do not talk about your plans to take out two girls at once.

This was the cherry on top. I really can't think of anything more attractive than a man who wants to have two girlfriends at once. Are you with me on this, ladies?

He texted me.
I haven't responded.
And I never will.

Most of these are no-brainers, but if you can keep in mind these four points, you'll at least be ahead those on the bad dating chronicles.

Be sure to check back for more bad dating chronicles. I've had quite a few! I'll even throw in an awkward story from my mission (since you aren't supposed to date while on a mission). Doesn't mean that people won't try to propose! The suspense may kill you, but I'll add to the bad dating chronicles before too long.

My Personal Shakespeare

Today ended up quite interesting. Let me tell you the story. In the middle of reading that Jack Zipes article that I mentioned in the last post, a random guy comes up to me and just says, "This is for you, bye!" It was just a few words written on a note card that said, "I love you! Study hard now and then have fun later. You rock!!" I have absolutely no idea who this guy was, but I assume he had a small stack of note cards and was handing them out to random people studying in the library.

I thought it was funny, and I showed my roommate when she came out to see me (she works in the media center, and I tend to study right outside of there). At this point, another guy sat across from me at the table and asked to see the card, and he chuckled at it. Then, after about 20 minutes, he slides a piece of paper and a pencil over to me and says, "Here's another one for you."

What was it? To my utter surprise, he had written a poem about me while sitting there. It was pretty clever actually, and he wanted to know if I was single. I started to freak out just a little at this point. This type of thing never happens to me, and my mind honestly went blank as I tried to think of a witty response. I managed to get out four lines of poetry and give him my number (20 seconds of courage, right?). Definitely single.

We went back and forth, writing poems until he had to go. He asked me out for 7:30 tonight, but I already made plans to see a show, so that was a no go. He didn't tell me his name, but he took down my number and said that he would text me sometime (probably also in rhyming verse).

I was kind of dumbfounded at this point, and of course, it was kind of difficult to concentrate, so I left too. And I was trying so hard to not look at him and be super awkward that I don't think I got a really good look at him. I think I was pretty awkward anyway. That's the story of my life when it comes to attractive men--I get awkward. This was only augmented by the fact that when I lived in Italy for a year and a half, it was for a mission, and I was basically sworn off of dating until I got back. Granted, it's been almost a year now, and I have gone on dates, but the awkwardness remains.

I really don't know if he's going to ask me out again, and maybe I just acted like a complete idiot, but it was pretty exciting. Even if he doesn't, that made my day! It would be the perfect way for someone to ask me out, since I'm an English major and I greatly admire wit. But for now, he remains my elusive, personal Shakespeare.